Theres this girl in my class that all the boys call PP Pauline. They say she smells like pee but I haven't noticed it. Yesterday while I was swinging on the monkey bars, Pauline came over and asked me if I could do the dead man drop. I never heard of the dead man drop before so I said, "No, what's that?"
Pauline climbed up on the bars and dropped backwards catching herself with her knees. WOW! That was awesome. Then she swung a backflip and landed on her feet.
Butch and Sunny walked up and Butch said, "Lil Bill, PP girl is your girlfriend now? Butch and Sunny started laughing and high fivin' each other. Pauline turned red and picked up her sweater and left. I told Butch, "Man that was mean", Butch said, "You must like that ol' PP girl".
Butch must have forgot that when I spent the night at his house, he wet the bed and blamed it on his dog.
I didn't bring it up. But he is the real PP boy.
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Monday, May 13, 2013
The Creek
The ranch was a very boring place to be. It seemed like one day was an hour. I was ready to go as soon as we got there. Grandma aske me what was wrong, she was excited to bring me here so I didn't want to disappoint her, so I said that I missed my dog Mr.Wrinles, she said, He'll be there when you get home, there plenty of things to do out here, quit worrying about that dog and go have some fun."Grandma doesn't understand this is not my Idea of fun.
I was walking through the trees trying to get away from the smell of the animals and I came across this creek. It had some little funny fish in it that had little tails on them. Some of the had feet too. I had never seen anything like them before. Then I started seeing these Lizards like the kind I see in the pet store where we get Mr.Wrinkles food at. I always wanted one of these Lizards. I wondered if I could catch one. I tried but it moved so fast that it scared me. So i missed that one but I kept trying. Next thing you now I was at the Creek for hours. Was I starting to enjoy the country?
I was walking through the trees trying to get away from the smell of the animals and I came across this creek. It had some little funny fish in it that had little tails on them. Some of the had feet too. I had never seen anything like them before. Then I started seeing these Lizards like the kind I see in the pet store where we get Mr.Wrinkles food at. I always wanted one of these Lizards. I wondered if I could catch one. I tried but it moved so fast that it scared me. So i missed that one but I kept trying. Next thing you now I was at the Creek for hours. Was I starting to enjoy the country?
Country Time
Looking through the keyhole, I saw my Grandma and her friend arrive at my house. They were coming to get me to take me somewhere special.
I had no idea where we were headed, Grandma wanted it to be a surprise. Was it the circus? Are we going to the movies? I was just so excited.
On the way I fell asleep in the car, it seemed like forever on the drive. Are we going to disneyland?
When I woke up Grandma said, "Just in time ,sleepy head,we made it." Looking around I still couldn't tell where we were. I said, "Grandma where are we?", she said, "We are at Ms.Leola's ranch, look over there see the horses, she has goats and chickens too." I wondered if I was dreaming.
A ranch, really? What am I going to do at a ranch?
I had no idea where we were headed, Grandma wanted it to be a surprise. Was it the circus? Are we going to the movies? I was just so excited.
On the way I fell asleep in the car, it seemed like forever on the drive. Are we going to disneyland?
When I woke up Grandma said, "Just in time ,sleepy head,we made it." Looking around I still couldn't tell where we were. I said, "Grandma where are we?", she said, "We are at Ms.Leola's ranch, look over there see the horses, she has goats and chickens too." I wondered if I was dreaming.
A ranch, really? What am I going to do at a ranch?
Monday, April 8, 2013
Thank my lucky stars.
The wrestling gods must have been looking out for me last night. While I was looking through the keyhole, my mom got a call from my auntie. Mom, called me into the room and said " get on your coat, we are going to aunt Doris' house. Aunt Doris is really my mom's best friend, but that another story. Aunt Doris got called in to work on her off day and needed someone to look out for Josh. Josh is 9 and he loves WWE almost as much as me, he just likes the wrong wrestlers.
On the way I was just glad to get out of the house and have another WWE fan to talk to about the big event, I didn't know I was in for a big surprise. When we walked into the house the big screen was on Wrestle Mania. HURRAY! I didn't even take off my coat, I just ran to the couch and said, "Yeah boy The Rock is gonna get whooped", Josh said, "boy you on crack, John Cena gonna get his head ripped off." Josh is crazy about The Rock, he crazy, period. If I knew I was watching the fight I would have brought my Takis. But Josh already had snacks, he had popcorn, cellery sticks and ranch (boring).
The Rock is history,just as I predicted. Josh is mad because John Cena won. He put a royal beat down on The Rock. I was so pumped that I said, "The Rock ain't nothing but a fruity pebble now, yeah boy, you better recognize." Josh looked like he wanted to cry.
Cena you the man.
On the way I was just glad to get out of the house and have another WWE fan to talk to about the big event, I didn't know I was in for a big surprise. When we walked into the house the big screen was on Wrestle Mania. HURRAY! I didn't even take off my coat, I just ran to the couch and said, "Yeah boy The Rock is gonna get whooped", Josh said, "boy you on crack, John Cena gonna get his head ripped off." Josh is crazy about The Rock, he crazy, period. If I knew I was watching the fight I would have brought my Takis. But Josh already had snacks, he had popcorn, cellery sticks and ranch (boring).
The Rock is history,just as I predicted. Josh is mad because John Cena won. He put a royal beat down on The Rock. I was so pumped that I said, "The Rock ain't nothing but a fruity pebble now, yeah boy, you better recognize." Josh looked like he wanted to cry.
Cena you the man.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
WRESTLE MANIA
So. Today is Wrestle Mania the biggest WWE event of the year and these are the match ups I've been waiting for. John Cena against the Rock, and CM Punk against The Undertaker. These are the most important matches in my book. I've been waiting forever for this, I don't believe it. I can't watch it.
My dad did not order Pay Per View for the Wrestle Mania match. I was excited last week as I watched the weekly WWE match on regular TV, I told my dad that the Wrestle Mania match was coming and asked if I could watch it. He said, "yeah sure" and I auto tuned the event on the Cable box. This morning I woke up pumped. I got my Taki's, my cheese and crackers, my grapes and Kool Aid ready for the match. When I checked the Cable box, I noticed that I didn't have the PPV channel, I told my mom there was something wrong with the cable, she called dad.
Bad news! No PPV. My mom said dad forgot to pay for it. I said he can call it in from his cell phone, she said, "Sorry Bill, you gone miss this one. I said, "but mama this is the biggest match of the year if the Rock looses he's through forever, this is WWE history. Mom said, "so sorry Bill. I said, "can I call Dad?" Mom hesitated for a minute and then dialed dad's number and gave me the phone. I knew by the way my mom hesitated that maybe this call was risky business, but this was Wrestle Mania. I'll take my chances.
Dad answers , I said, "dad you can call in and get Pay per view and it will be on in a few minutes", dad said, "boy we can't afford it right now, I don't even order the fights when it's a real fight on."A real fight? What does that mean, this is a real fight. This is THE FIGHT of the year. Dad said,"you will find out who won later, it will be on TV next week." I thought about it and said, "but dad, you said I could watch it. Dad said, "look Bill, you will have to wait to see it, that's it and that's all." I could tell by dad's voice that I was out of luck. Waiting to watch it next week was like eating ce cream on the way home from school and then finding out mom was cooking my favorite meal. It ruins your appetite. I will miss the action, but all my friends will tell me what happened. I will see it in my mind, but it will be what they are saying, but not as if I would see it for myself. This sucks!
My dad did not order Pay Per View for the Wrestle Mania match. I was excited last week as I watched the weekly WWE match on regular TV, I told my dad that the Wrestle Mania match was coming and asked if I could watch it. He said, "yeah sure" and I auto tuned the event on the Cable box. This morning I woke up pumped. I got my Taki's, my cheese and crackers, my grapes and Kool Aid ready for the match. When I checked the Cable box, I noticed that I didn't have the PPV channel, I told my mom there was something wrong with the cable, she called dad.
Bad news! No PPV. My mom said dad forgot to pay for it. I said he can call it in from his cell phone, she said, "Sorry Bill, you gone miss this one. I said, "but mama this is the biggest match of the year if the Rock looses he's through forever, this is WWE history. Mom said, "so sorry Bill. I said, "can I call Dad?" Mom hesitated for a minute and then dialed dad's number and gave me the phone. I knew by the way my mom hesitated that maybe this call was risky business, but this was Wrestle Mania. I'll take my chances.
Dad answers , I said, "dad you can call in and get Pay per view and it will be on in a few minutes", dad said, "boy we can't afford it right now, I don't even order the fights when it's a real fight on."A real fight? What does that mean, this is a real fight. This is THE FIGHT of the year. Dad said,"you will find out who won later, it will be on TV next week." I thought about it and said, "but dad, you said I could watch it. Dad said, "look Bill, you will have to wait to see it, that's it and that's all." I could tell by dad's voice that I was out of luck. Waiting to watch it next week was like eating ce cream on the way home from school and then finding out mom was cooking my favorite meal. It ruins your appetite. I will miss the action, but all my friends will tell me what happened. I will see it in my mind, but it will be what they are saying, but not as if I would see it for myself. This sucks!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Let's Play House
Looking through the keyhole I saw my mom talking to Ashley's mom. Ashley is staying over for the day. Yuck! Ashley, is not my idea of a good day. The last time she came to visit, it was all bad. Mom, wanted me to keep her company and play with her. I was okay with it at first. I figured we'd play on the Playstation or watch WWE Smackdown, but no, Ashley wanted to play house. House? For real? of all the toys and games that are fun, Ashley wanted to act like grown folks. BORING!
So, Ashley says, "I'll be the momma and you'll be the daddy, OK? I said, OK. Then Ashley said "Rinkles is our baby". Rinkles is my puppy, he was happy she was picking him up. I know he was cause he was was wagging his tail. Rinkles didn't realize what was going on, he didn't know he was a baby. He started licking her in the face. She said "the baby is hungry, you hold the baby while I make him a bottle. I said "the momma is suppose to hold the baby. Ashey got mad, she said I wasn't playing right.
I put Rinkles on the floor. Ashley started yelling at me, "you can't put the baby down on the floor."
I said, "Rinkles lives on the floor."Ashley said, "that's my baby, that's not Rinkles, that's Sandy". I was getting confused, who is Sandy? In this dollhouse world, do you just give the dog a new name. This is Rinkles, she said it herself, so where did this Sandy come from. Anyway, Ashley stormed over and picked Rinkles up and wrapped him in a towel, "come on Sandy, your daddy is stupid". Rinkles didn't like being wrapped up, he started squirming around until he fell to the floor. Ashley started crying hecka loud. My mother came in the room, asking what was going on. Ashley said I wasn't playing fair and I was being mean. My mom made us take a nap.
I'm headed to my clubhouse in the backyard. I hope Ashley can read the big sign on the front that say's "NO GIRLS ALLOWED". I don't want to ever play house again. Girls are too pushy. Yuck!
So, Ashley says, "I'll be the momma and you'll be the daddy, OK? I said, OK. Then Ashley said "Rinkles is our baby". Rinkles is my puppy, he was happy she was picking him up. I know he was cause he was was wagging his tail. Rinkles didn't realize what was going on, he didn't know he was a baby. He started licking her in the face. She said "the baby is hungry, you hold the baby while I make him a bottle. I said "the momma is suppose to hold the baby. Ashey got mad, she said I wasn't playing right.
I put Rinkles on the floor. Ashley started yelling at me, "you can't put the baby down on the floor."
I said, "Rinkles lives on the floor."Ashley said, "that's my baby, that's not Rinkles, that's Sandy". I was getting confused, who is Sandy? In this dollhouse world, do you just give the dog a new name. This is Rinkles, she said it herself, so where did this Sandy come from. Anyway, Ashley stormed over and picked Rinkles up and wrapped him in a towel, "come on Sandy, your daddy is stupid". Rinkles didn't like being wrapped up, he started squirming around until he fell to the floor. Ashley started crying hecka loud. My mother came in the room, asking what was going on. Ashley said I wasn't playing fair and I was being mean. My mom made us take a nap.
I'm headed to my clubhouse in the backyard. I hope Ashley can read the big sign on the front that say's "NO GIRLS ALLOWED". I don't want to ever play house again. Girls are too pushy. Yuck!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
I can drive.
Looking through the keyhole I saw my mother talking on the phone to my grand'pa. Grand'pa is coming to visit next week. Hurray! This is my favorite Grand'pa because he is fun. He let me drive his car around the mall parking lot. I know how to drive. All you got to do is put on your seatbelt, then turn on the key. Then you put your foot on the little pedal, and you look in the mirror and make sure nothing is in your way. After that you pull down the little handle till the thing goes to the 'D', and take your foot of the brake and push the long pedal real slow and easy. You keep your hands on both sides of the steering wheel so you can turn when you want to. Grand'pa said, you never use both of your feet (which is strange since you got two pedals). You always take your foot off the long pedal before you stop to let the car slow down before you hit the little pedal.
I asked my dad to let me drive and he said, "boy you can't drive", I said," but dad I drove grand'pa's car at the mall. Dad said, "well you won't be driving this car so don't even think about it".
Dad think I can't drive. I drive on play station all the time. I drive in races, I drive over the hills, I drive on the obstacles the police train on, I even drive under water. I do donuts and other stunts. I bet I can drive better than dad. Dad said I won't be driving until I grow up and get a job and buy my own car, but he don't know that on my play station I can make whatever car I want, and if anybody crash into me, I just make another car.
I'm just sayin'
I asked my dad to let me drive and he said, "boy you can't drive", I said," but dad I drove grand'pa's car at the mall. Dad said, "well you won't be driving this car so don't even think about it".
Dad think I can't drive. I drive on play station all the time. I drive in races, I drive over the hills, I drive on the obstacles the police train on, I even drive under water. I do donuts and other stunts. I bet I can drive better than dad. Dad said I won't be driving until I grow up and get a job and buy my own car, but he don't know that on my play station I can make whatever car I want, and if anybody crash into me, I just make another car.
I'm just sayin'
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