Let's Play House

Looking through the keyhole I saw my mom talking to Ashley's mom. Ashley is staying over for the day. Yuck! Ashley, is not my idea of a good day. The last time she came to visit, it was all bad. Mom, wanted me to keep her company and play with her. I was okay with it at first. I figured we'd play on the Playstation or watch WWE Smackdown, but no, Ashley wanted to play house. House? For real? of all the toys and games that are fun, Ashley wanted to act like grown folks. BORING!

So, Ashley says, "I'll be the momma and you'll be the daddy, OK? I said, OK. Then Ashley said "Rinkles is our baby". Rinkles is my puppy, he was happy she was picking him up. I know he was cause he was was wagging his tail. Rinkles didn't realize what was going on, he didn't know he was a baby. He started licking her in the face. She said "the baby is hungry, you hold the baby while I make him a bottle. I said "the momma is suppose to hold the baby. Ashey got mad, she said I wasn't playing right.
I put Rinkles on the floor. Ashley started yelling at me, "you can't put the baby down on the floor."
I said, "Rinkles lives on the floor."Ashley said, "that's my baby, that's not Rinkles, that's Sandy". I was getting confused, who is Sandy? In this dollhouse world, do you just give the dog a new name. This is Rinkles, she said it herself, so where did this Sandy come from. Anyway, Ashley stormed over and picked Rinkles up and wrapped him in a towel, "come on Sandy, your daddy is stupid". Rinkles didn't like being wrapped up, he started squirming around until he fell to the floor. Ashley started crying hecka loud. My mother came in the room, asking what was going on. Ashley said I wasn't playing fair and I was being mean. My mom made us take a nap.

I'm headed to my clubhouse in the backyard. I hope Ashley can read the big sign on the front that say's "NO GIRLS ALLOWED". I don't want to ever play house again. Girls are too pushy. Yuck!

I can drive.

Looking through the keyhole I saw my mother talking on the phone to my grand'pa. Grand'pa is coming to visit next week. Hurray! This is my favorite Grand'pa because he is fun. He let me drive his car around the mall parking lot. I know how to drive. All you got to do is put on your seatbelt, then turn on the key. Then you put your foot on the little pedal, and you look in the mirror and make sure nothing is in your way. After that you pull down the little handle till the thing goes to the 'D', and take your foot of the brake and push the long pedal real slow and easy. You keep your hands on both sides of the steering wheel so you can turn when you want to. Grand'pa said, you never use both of your feet (which is strange since you got two pedals). You always take your foot off the long pedal before you stop to let the car slow down before you hit the little pedal.

I asked my dad to let me drive and he said, "boy you can't drive", I said," but dad I drove grand'pa's car at the mall. Dad said, "well you won't be driving this car so don't even think about it".

Dad think I can't drive. I drive on play station all the time. I drive in races, I drive over the hills, I drive on the obstacles the police train on, I even drive under water. I do donuts and other stunts. I bet I can drive better than dad. Dad said I won't be driving until I grow up and get a job and buy my own car, but he don't know that on my play station I can make whatever car I want, and if anybody crash into me, I just make another car.
I'm just sayin'

WWE and me.

I was looking through the key hole, trying to see what was going on on WWE. I wanted to see cause dad was laughing and grunting. I couldn't watch WWE tonight because, I wasn't finish with my homework yet. How could I concentrate on my homework when The Rock, was talking smack to his apponent for Wrestle Mania, the match coming up. His apponent is John Cena, who was beaten by The Rock in the previous Wrestle Mania match. Any way. John Cena was the WWE Champion, and everbody was trying to get the championship, but they couldn't stop him. All the super stars wanted a match with John Cena, but he still won against all the super stars. Then The Rock, came from behind with a chair and smacked John Cena, and then John Cena, smacked The Rock back with the chair, and grabbed The Rock and slammed him on the table. Nobody could stop John Cena, he held the title for four years. This is what is going to happen to The Rock, see really, the Rock is the one who holds the title now. But since I can't watch WWE, I have to predict what will happen to The Rock, because he is weak to me, and I know that John Cena can take him. Do I know what The Rock is cookin'? Not really.
I'm just sayin' though.

The Boy That Cried Wolf.

Looking through the key hole, I saw my mom and dad talking about me. Mom was concerned because she said I lied about picking plums off of the tree. Actually, I didn't lie. She asked me if I was picking plums off the tree, and I said no. That was the truth. The plums she saw smeared on my face was from plums off the ground. 

Dad came in to give me the talk about being a liar. Before I could explain, he started in on me. "Bill ya' mama tellin' me, you think you slick, you need to know I was your age once, and what you doin', already been done.

 I said, "but dad", I...,

"Look Bill when ya' mama, ask you somethin', you tell her the truth. There was a little boy who was watchin' the sheep for his family, and he said he saw a wolf"...

I said, " dad grand pa', told me about the boy who cried wolf. I'm really not lying, I only ate plums off the ground".

 Dad said, " look Bill, ya mama don't want you to get sick eatin' plums that ain't ready yet, you ask her  before eating them, ya' hear?"

 I said, "OK, dad".

Dad always says he knows what I think. If he did, he would know that I wasn't trying to lie. I'm not trying to say that a wolf is coming, I just like those purple plums. I'm just sayin'.